One Foot in One Foot Out

For a year and a half I have shut out the numerous negative comments about the job market. "No one is hiring," "Even people with graduate degrees can't get a job," "Everyone is getting laid off." I have told myself that it didn't matter because I am in school, and by the time I graduate there will be jobs. I have been so consumed with the stresses of graduate school, that life after graduate school was a rarely on my mind.

However, the last few months life after graduate school has increasingly consumed my thoughts. I have fantasized about the furniture I want to buy when I move in with my good friend J. I have dreamt of moving out of my mother's house, where I have been since beginning graduate school. But, I have also thought more and more about JOBS.

Sometimes I think positively, and imagine I can get the job of my dreams at an eating disorder clinic or college counseling center. Sometimes I think I would even be ecstatic to get a job at a local mental health agency. But as I think of all of the local graduate programs in psychology related fields, with fresh graduates, I am discouraged. I see few job postings for unlicensed therapists, and I worry that there is too much competition.

I am also noticing that as my anxiety and focus on jobs increases I am slowly checking out of graduate school. Just when the most pivotal moment of graduate school approaches (my final case presentation), I find I am less and less focused on school. I imagine this is a natural process, but it is uncomfortable for me. I like to focus on one thing at a time. But I feel like I am straddling two important aspects of my life: graduate school and my future career.

In terms of job searching I am going to attempt to stay positive. One of my supervisors calls this a "useful fiction," which has become one of my favorite terms. I realize I have a great deal of control in how I view things...and for the sake of my sanity I am going to believe that I will get a job. I am going to believe that I am marketable, even fresh out of graduate school. I am going to believe that my personal qualities and life experiences will augment my limited clinical experience. I am going to believe that my graduate program has made a wonderful name for itself in my community. Most of all I am going to believe that everything happens for a reason...the "useful fiction" I use for everything in life.